shittydndideas:

More Shitty Magic Items:

Another horde of magical miscellany that misses the mark.

1. Halfling Belt: the wearer of this belt is granted the greater dexterity of a halfling, as well as their size; adds +2 to Dex and shrinks the wearer to the average size of a halfling.
2. Pendant of Perception: this iridescent pendant allows the user to change their appearance at will, however, they are the only one able to perceive the change.
3. Miracle Blade: a longsword that does 2 extra d8/d10 of damage, but has -10 to hit.
4. Cinder Cloak: this flame-colored cloak engulfs the wearer in flames, over which they have full control, but does not offer any protection from said flames.
5. Endless Ladder: a ladder that can be folded to fit into any bag, and unfolded to span any distance. However, anyone climbing the ladder will not reach their destination, but will be climbing the ladder endlessly.
6. Trick Rope: a favorite of con men, this rope can become any length desired by the user, and any knots tied into it will easily come undone.
7. Clutch Purse: a small bag that will tightly hold anything put into it; a poor place to put money, as it will not be coming back out of the bag easily.
8. Malaprop Mixture: this potion causes the drinker to mix up their words for an indeterminate amount of time; confusing during conversation, potentially catastrophic during verbal spellcasting.
9. Boots of Spiderkind: this pair of boots magically gives the wearer extra pairs of legs for a total of 8, giving an arachnid-like appearance.
10. Detective’s Coat: a battered old longcoat that reeks of alcohol and ash; gives the wearer +1 to Investigation and Perception, and an inability to form healthy romantic relationships.